


Limericks: Book 2

by HASA_Archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Other - Freeform, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2004-12-09
Packaged: 2018-03-22 21:33:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3744316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HASA_Archivist/pseuds/HASA_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Let the lust-object-less limerick madness begin...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A New Limerickfest?

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the HASA Transition Team: This story was originally archived at [HASA](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Henneth_Ann%C3%BBn_Story_Archive), which closed in February 2015. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2015. We posted announcements about the move, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact The HASA Transition Team using the e-mail address on the [HASA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hasa/profile).

Those two limerick threads, now long done,  
Discussing dimples, elfhoods, and buns,  
By Marta's been revived,  
List o' Lustees excised :(,  
Without them... what'll this contest become?

By Meril


	2. Dwarves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let the lust-object-less limerick madness begin...

**Mahal's Sons**  
Mahal's sons have garnered some fame:  
With their weapons they win great acclaim;  
Sword, spear, axe, and mace,  
(Defects? not a trace!),  
And above all: are known for fine "aim".

By Meril


	3. Ghân-buri-Ghân

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let the lust-object-less limerick madness begin...

We praise you, O Ghân-buri-Ghân!  
You squat, hairy, strange little man!  
You don't look the part, but -  
Thanks to your sly shortcut -  
You're the toast of the whole Druadan.

"The old forest road," Ghân proposes,  
(Made by Gondor is what he supposes).  
The Rohirrim rally,  
For the Stonewain Valley,  
Is stuffed to the gunwales with Woses.

Do you now see the moral? (You should.)  
It's all very well to be Good,  
But to get there in time  
Past the gorgûn front line -  
Don't rile the Wild Men of the Wood.

By Altariel


	4. Trials of a Fanfic Writer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let the lust-object-less limerick madness begin...

**Muse Otherwise Occupied**  
"Marta, 'twas really pernicious  
To throw at me nuzgul so vicious!  
I sat down to writing,  
But with canon is fighting  
The clamor of limericks salacious."

**Loophole**  
Hooked on PJ's trilogy films,  
Certain parts of me blazing like kilns,  
Now forbidden to write  
Verse with "Rings" boys in sight,  
But hey: there's always the Silm!

**Ouch**  
Upon joining the new HASA site,  
Too late I did realize my plight:  
Now plagued by nuzgul attacking  
(Whom my ankles are attracting)  
I fev'rishly type through the night.

By Meril

There was an auteur filmical  
whose works were quite satyrical:  
could not film enough  
of Elves in the buff --  
shunning all props sartorical!

By Elena Tiriel

**Elves in the Buff**  
Elves in the buff ( _Oh, how grand..._  
Perhaps rolling around in the sand--)  
Shout my muses: "Stop, yuck!  
Quit now this shameful stuff:  
Or canon will forever be banned!"

By Meril


	5. The Family Jewels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let the lust-object-less limerick madness begin...

**The Family Jewels**  
They'd fought fierce over smithy ground rules,  
And argued over whose works were whose.  
Now after their wedding,  
Preparing for bedding,  
Says he: "Now I'll show you my _best_ jewels."

By Meril


	6. Ioreth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let the lust-object-less limerick madness begin...

"One day, still a Lossarnach lass,  
While gath'ring herbs in the valley en masse:  
I abandoned my list,  
For a tumbling tryst,  
After that: no more as 'lass' could I pass!"

By Meril


	7. Hobbits, Gollum, etc.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let the lust-object-less limerick madness begin...

The Gaffer while grasping his hoe  
did tug and did pull like a pro  
to task he did bend  
his passion to tend  
and managed a well seeded row.

 

Gollum that nasty old thing  
His Master’s sure favor to bring,  
Did pet and did paw  
While fawning in awe,  
“Precious lets us finger your Ring.”

By Vistula the Dunedain


End file.
